|Perhaps that's what always made me a good employee. I am driven to problem solve. I want to ferret around, I want to fix it. Yet I know NOTHING about tech.
Oh, you can put ANY operating system in front of me, once its up and running, and not only can I make it do whatever I want, I usually can find out things it does the techs hadn't thought of. I solved a coding interface problem between Chrysler's EDS ordering system and the business I worked for that even the writers of the program couldn't solve.
But I had something to work with.
When you have nothing to work with, just a total absence of anything to work with, its utter hell for someone like me. At least if it showed up I could tinker with the pretties, the ONLY thing I can do without M_A, NP's and thinblackduke's help. I'd have something to think about.
I hate leaving unresolved things in my life.
Of course, this never works with people-problems. Wait. Actually, sometimes it does. I refuse to die with regrets, or let anyone die with doubts about me. There's the shadow over my shoulder again. Sometimes people are taken aback by the value I place on them, that I don't easily dismiss or give up on them. Of course, sometimes they balk, too.
Recalling my ex-best friend Debbie, who ignored my efforts for resolution for a couple months, then wanted me back RIGHT THEN when she decided she was ready to talk... by then I had so moved on, so hardened to the fact she had no urgency about me, I was done. Besides, she was still coking, so what was the point? Why then? Had she decided I had been punished enough? Phhh.
In a short life, you fix it or move on. I can think of very few people I have loved and lost. Death is a great Advisor. Love now is the only answer.
I live urgent.
Ah well, if I could get into the code right now, it would be doubly hard to walk away and go to work anyway.
But! But! But! Its a new WWL, and the god-send to half my troubles right now. I wanna play with my new toy! I want to be beautifully distracted in minutia & details & problem solving & making something WORK! & & & & & !!!!!
I suck at waiting. Today is going to be OCD hell.
Now I urgently need to get ready for work.